When Death Becomes You

Call me morbid, but of late Death has been on and off my mind. No, I haven’t been having any suicidal tendencies. Suicide is something that I probably will never be able to bring myself to do..think of the options you’ve got : throw yourself down a building or a bridge, electrocute yourself, set yourself on fire..brrr..that’s a lot of scary stuff. Would never be able to do any of that. So it’s not that I’ve been harbouring thoughts of my departure from this funny but nice place that we call Earth. It’s just that I’ve been thinking…

I suppose it started sometime early this month with the death of a guy I knew. He died in a bike accident. Was killed on the spot. And as is usual when we hear of anyone’s death, I was shocked. Too early, too unexpected and other usual thoughts…and then I thought that people who die never really get to say goodbye. At least those who leave us without any prior notice. They never get to say things that they probably would have wanted to say before leaving. I know that we all get these awful forwards which go something on the lines of “If you love somebody tell him/her..blah blah..” but hell, we never get the chance to think of last words. Unless of course you are a hero in an Indian movie, in which case you might even get the entire second half of the movie to do and say all your stuff. So I’ve been wondering about what I’d like my last few lines to be..something like Everyman’s final message or something..What would I say? Well I donno for sure, but about 4-5 girls who have ABSOLUTELY no memory of me would get to know that I had a crush on them. Then of course I would think of something on the lines of “I’d like to thank Mom and Dad, my family, and all you lovely people out there” (throw in a black tux and a golden statuette and I’d finally be at the Oscars). Oh yes, a final message would be an interesting thought. What do you say when you finally leave this world behind?

Another weird thought that struck my mind recently was the concept of a Happy Deathday. Of course, this would not be an annual event (wait..perhaps ghosts have this event in their err..life calendar). For us mortals, it would be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Quite literally. This would be the day that you’re going to die. And you know it. You are surrounded by family, friends, dog, well wishers, and preferably, you are not in much pain. Perhaps feeling a tad uncomfortable, but you definitely would not want to be bleeding or hurting too much. You perhaps get a lifetime achievement award from somebody..doesn’t matter who. Your people could perhaps even think of screening a pic starring YOU! And you get to watch your whole life go by you once again (yes just like in the movies). If you are fit to eat ( I mean, you doing the eating) then you get your fave dish as your last meal. Have a last (or first, as the case may be) drink, and your last smoke, and then, finally, you are good to go. And late at night you get to get into your bed one last time and then go off peacefully into the night. Of course, all this is assuming that you would know when you are about to die and that you would die peacefully in your sleep. Doesn’t ever really happen this way though.

We lose people we love, like, ( or never really hated) all the time. And it makes us feel awful. Wonder why we really feel that way. Are we sad for them or for us ? Or for both of us? Why can’t we see it as a natural outcome of life and live on..perhaps if death didn’t always pain so much, it would’ve been a much easier pill to swallow. Lol!

Shain