Quick Notes From a Gonnabe Dad

I come home to an empty house once again. My love is at my hometown now, getting all geared up to face the frightening prospect of labour, and beyond that, the even more worrying prospect of motherhood. She was due on August 6th. I was actually hoping for August 8th. Then we would get an 08.08.08 you see, but it wasn’t to be. The last time we went for an ultrasound scan, the report said that the child had 3 weeks of extra growth. That meant that she would now deliver 3 weeks earlier –which is one month from now, on around the 15th of July.

Try and think as I might, I have not been able to picturize myself as a dad. I can’t imagine doing the things a father should be doing. Hell, I can’t even imagine my child. In a way, I don’t want to do that. I find that whenever I imagine something, that never happens. Plenty are the times that I’ve used this to my advantage. If I wanted to pass an exam, I would imagine myself failing that exam. On flights, I always imagine my plane crashing. So far, it has worked. I’ve never crashed J. So here, I don’t want to imagine. Moreover, I’ve got a far more pressing worry to think about – a name.

Before you even think of quoting the Bard and his “What’s in a name…”, let me assure you that there is plenty in it. Lots have been written about this subject, including blogs by me, Jimbo, Mac (on different lines), and pretty much every haggled owner of a bisyllabic meaningless Malayalee name. So I don’t want my child to go through the same tribulations that almost half the Mals born in the mid 70’s to 80’s have faced. And there are plenty of good names out in the market too. Our previous generation didn’t have much to choose from. That’s probably why they resorted to rhyming most of the time – you know, call your eldest daughter Titty and then her younger brother Shitty (I have these two names on good authority!). But we are spoilt for choice. There are plenty of sites with baby names. We are on the lookout for Indian names which don’t sound too Hindu – I’d have a tough time convincing my mom otherwise. There are some pretty good Christian names too, but I’d prefer something Indian. The Net spoils you for choice I tell you. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to stick to a proper, conventional Christian name like Mathew or Sarah or Teresa. Suggestions are welcome!

Around 30 days left…No sooner had I left one countdown behind me, than the next one’s started. My metamorphosis continues…sadly though, my worries are not done yet..